Therapy for Anxious Parents in San Francisco
A wise colleague once said to me: parents are usually parenting in one of three ways. Based on how they were raised. Based on education—books, podcasts, parenting apps. Or by the seat of their pants.
Most of my clients are doing all three, sometimes in the same afternoon.
You're highly educated. You've done the reading. You know what you're supposed to do when your kid melts down or your teen shuts you out. But knowing and doing are different things—especially when you're exhausted, triggered, or just trying to get everyone out the door. And underneath all the doing is a quiet worry: Am I getting this right? Am I making it worse?
If you're searching for therapy for anxious parents in San Francisco, you're probably not looking for more parenting advice. You've got plenty of that. You're looking for someone who can help you make sense of why this feels so hard—and give you real support so you're not white-knuckling it alone.
Why Parenting Feels So Overwhelming
Here's what I've noticed after years of working with parents: the ones who worry most about getting it wrong are usually the ones trying hardest to get it right.
Many of my clients are parenting in explicit contrast to how they were raised. Maybe your parents were too harsh, too distant, too anxious themselves. You've made a conscious decision to do it differently for your kids. That's admirable—and exhausting. You're essentially building the plane while flying it, without a model to follow.
Add to that the pressure of raising kids in a competitive, high-achieving environment like San Francisco. Independent school admissions, extracurricular schedules, the unspoken comparison to other families who seem to have it more together. You're not just trying to raise good humans—you're doing it in a context that constantly signals you should be doing more.
No wonder you're anxious.
What Therapy for Anxious Parents Actually Looks Like
Parenting support isn't one-size-fits-all. Depending on what you're dealing with, our work together might include several different elements.
A Place to Say the Unsayable
Sometimes you just need a space to say the things you can't say in front of your kids. The frustration. The resentment. The moments where you don't like your child very much, even though you love them. The fear that you're screwing this up.
These feelings don't make you a bad parent. They make you a human one. But you need somewhere to put them—somewhere that isn't your partner (who's also exhausted) or your friends (who might judge). Therapy gives you a container for the hard stuff so it doesn't leak out sideways onto your kids.
Tactical Strategies That Actually Work
I'm not going to just nod and ask how you feel about your child's tantrum. I'll give you specific, practical strategies to try—what to say, how to respond, what to do differently next time.
This might mean behavioral techniques for managing meltdowns, scripts for navigating hard conversations with your teen, or frameworks for setting boundaries without blowing up the relationship. The goal is to move you from reactive firefighting to intentional responding.
I also point clients toward trusted parenting resources that align with evidence-based approaches. You've probably come across Dr. Becky Kennedy (Good Inside)—her work is solid and resonates with a lot of parents. I also recommend the less-viral but equally excellent Dr. Alan Kazdin at Yale, whose research on parent management training is some of the best out there.
Understanding Your Own Triggers
Here's the part that often surprises people: effective parenting support usually involves looking at your own childhood.
Why? Because your hardest parenting moments are often connected to your own early experiences. When your child's behavior triggers a big reaction in you—rage, panic, shutdown—it's worth asking what's getting activated. Sometimes we're not just responding to our kid in front of us; we're responding to something much older.
This isn't about blaming your parents or wallowing in the past. It's about understanding why certain moments hit you so hard, so you can respond from a grounded place instead of a triggered one.
Specialized Support for Anxious Kids and Teens
If your child is struggling with anxiety, I'm trained in SPACE—Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions. It's one of the most effective treatment approaches to emerge in the past decade, and it works differently than traditional child therapy.
Here's the key insight behind SPACE: when a child is anxious, parents naturally accommodate that anxiety. You might reassure them repeatedly, help them avoid scary situations, or adjust family routines around their fears. These responses make sense—you're trying to protect your child from distress. But over time, accommodation actually maintains and strengthens the anxiety.
SPACE trains parents to respond differently—to support their child through anxiety rather than helping them avoid it. The research shows it's as effective as CBT for kids, and it puts you in the driver's seat rather than waiting for your child to change first. I also use SPACE for failure-to-launch situations—when a young adult gets stuck and struggles to function independently.
Parenting Support That Fits Your Life
I know your schedule is already impossible. That's why I've designed parenting support to be flexible.
You can come alone or with your partner. Sessions can happen during the workday, during naptime, or via telehealth from wherever you can grab 50 minutes of privacy. I've had plenty of sessions with parents calling from their cars between activities—their portable offices.
Parenting is hard enough. I'm not going to make getting support harder. We'll find a format that actually works for your life.
When to Consider Therapy for Anxious Parents
You don't have to be in crisis to benefit from support. But here are some signs that therapy for anxious parents in San Francisco might be worth exploring:
You're constantly worried you're making mistakes that will damage your kids. You find yourself losing your temper more than you'd like—and feeling guilty afterward. Parenting has started to feel like a performance you're failing at. You're exhausted but can't turn off the mental load, even when you get a break. Your child's anxiety or behavior is consuming family life. You're parenting very differently than you were parented, and it's harder than you expected. You and your partner are on different pages about how to handle things.
If several of these resonate, it might be time to stop trying to figure it out alone.
You're Not Supposed to Do This Without Support
Here's what I want you to know: the fact that parenting feels overwhelming doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're doing something genuinely hard, in a culture that offers very little structural support, while probably also managing a career and a household and a relationship and your own mental health.
Therapy for anxious parents isn't about fixing you. It's about giving you a place to be honest, strategies that actually help, and support so you can show up as the parent you want to be—not a perfect one, but a grounded one.
You're already trying so hard. Let's make it a little easier.
Ready to See If We're a Good Fit?
I'm Dr. Stephanie Rooney, a licensed psychologist in San Francisco specializing in support for anxious parents. I'm a parent myself—I've navigated the chaos, the guilt, and the 3am worry spirals. I get it. My approach combines clinical expertise with real-world practicality, because you don't need more theory. You need help that works on a Tuesday afternoon.
If you're curious whether we'd be a good match, I offer a free 15-minute consultation. No pressure, no commitment—just a conversation.
